3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
