Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
