their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
