Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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