Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize