Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
