Porn is love you can see.
I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
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