morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
