I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
