He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
