What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
