I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
