god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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