Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
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