I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
