either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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