Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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