I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
