I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
i now understand why vodka
I supernannyed him into submission
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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