is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Randomize
