i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
