I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize