Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Randomize
