you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
