why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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