Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.