Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
25 People Confess Their Favorite Way To Annoy Their Significant Other
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
These 21 Women Share What Sexual Harassment In The Military Is Really Like
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.