I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Randomize
