when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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