this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
your like the ambassador to my penis.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
