If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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