BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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