This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
