I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
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