Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
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white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
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You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize