You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
