I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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