just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
