If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
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