I'm so fucking centered right now
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I touched a dick in church today
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
