3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
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