I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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