as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Randomize