Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
