I bet he comes in French.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
