if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
