i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
