so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
