Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
