; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
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