Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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