We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Randomize
