i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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