it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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