this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
