the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
