ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
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