I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
