She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
be right there i have to get my cape
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
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