Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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